"What did A say to B?" joke archive

These are funny because the punchline of the joke (the part that makes you laugh) contains at least one word which can be understood in more than one way. These words have been highlighted in green. Look them up in a good E-E dictionary to find out the double - or sometimes triple - meanings. The punchlines of Jokes six, eight and nine will be easier to understand if you say them out loud.

1. What did the traffic light say to the car?

• I don't know. What did the traffic light say to the car?

"Don't look now. I'm changing."

2. What does the sea say to the shore?

• I don't know. What does the shea say to the sore? (Oops.)

• (If you say the first line of the joke out loud, you should understand why the second speaker says "shea" rather than "sea". Try also the famous tongue twister beginning "She sells sea shells on the sea shore". For this and other tongue twisters, including ones in languages other than English, such as Japanese, see this entry in Wikipedia. On this site, you can hear some English-language tongue twisters being recited, both at both slow and fast speeds. (Click 音声１ etc.)

Nothing! It just makes waves.

3. What did the envelope say to the stamp?

• I don't know. What did the envelope say to the stamp?

"Stick with me, and we'll go places."

4. What did the fried eggs say to the knives and forks as they waited for the monks to start breakfast?

• I don't know. What did the fried eggs say to the knives and forks as they waited for the monks to start breakfast?

"Oh no! It's out of the frying pan and into the friar!"

(For an explanation of 'Out of the frying pan and into the fire', see this page from Kazumasa Aoyama's English Idioms and Proverbs.)

5. What did the window say to the door?

• I don't know. What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the pane!"

6. What did the Spanish farmer say to his chickens?

• I don't know. What did the Spanish farmer say to his chickens?

"Olé!"
(This is funny because it sounds very similar to English "Oh lay (eggs)!")

7. What did the wasp say to the ant?

• I don't know. What did the wasp say to the ant?
• (I don't like insects. I hope there aren't any more jokes with insects in them.

"I must fly now, but I'll give you a buzz later!"

8. What did the lettuce plants say to the farmer when it was time for them to be picked and taken to the market?

• I don't know. What did the lettuce plants say to the farmer when it was time for them to be picked and taken to the market?
• (This joke is too long, and I'm not that fond of lettuce anyway.)

"Lettuce go!"
(If you say 'lettuce' out loud, what does it sound like?)

9. What did Neptune say to the mermaids when the sea dried up?

• I don't know. What did Neptune say to the mermaids when the sea dried up?

I haven't a notion!
(If you say this out loud, you will see that this sentence could have two meanings. In the second meaning, it will need inverted commas (""). Why?))

10. What did the teddy bear say to the waiter who offered to bring the dessert menu?

• I don't know. What did the teddy bear say to the waiter who offered to bring the dessert menu?
• Isn't this a"waiter, waiter" joke?

"No thanks. I'm stuffed!"
(No, it's not a "waiter, waiter" joke. If it was a "waiter, waiter" joke, it would be on the "waiter, waiter" joke page, wouldn't it!)

11. What did one crisp say to the other crisp?

• I don't know. What did one crisp say to the other crisp?

"Let's go for a dip!"

12. What did the electrician say when her children got home late from school?

• I don't know. What did the electrician say when her children got home late from school?

"Wire you insulate!" (You won't understand this unless you a) understand which job involves wires and insulation, and b) say 'wire you insulate' out loud to see what it sounds like....)