Joke and riddle archive
(Spring 2004)

1.

• What's black, white, and red all over?
  I don't know. What is black, white and red all over?
  
  A newspaper!!
  (Hint: Think of a verb which can sound the same as ‘red’ but has a different spelling.)
  Alternative answer no. 1: A shy zebra on Valentine's Day!!
  Alternative answer no. 2: A penguin who forgot to take his suntan lotion to the beach!
  
  Related riddle:
  What goes black and white, black and white, black and white, BUMP?
  I don't know. What does go black and white, black and white, black and white, BUMP?
  A penguin rolling down a hill (and forgetting to stop at the bottom)!!
  

2.

• What's the difference between a train and a tree?
  We don't know. What is the difference between a train and a tree?
  
  One leaves its shed; the other sheds its leaves!
  (Hint: What do trains do in the morning, and trees do in the autumn*? Think about the possible meanings of 'leaves' and 'shed'.)
  *This is British English. Americans call this season 'fall'
  
  Related riddles:
  

  • What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?.
    We don't know. What is the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?
    
    An iceberg crushes boats; a clothes brush brushes coats!
  • What's the difference between a wet day and a lion with tooth-ache?
    We don't know. What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with tooth-ache?
    
    One's pouring with rain; the other's roaring with pain!
  • 　

  • What's the difference between a nail and a bad boxer?
    I don't know. What is the difference between a nail and a bad boxer?
    
    One is knocked in; the other is knocked out!
    
    What's the difference between an elephant and a post box?
    We don't know. What is the difference between an elephant and a post box?
    
    If you really can't answer that, I'll ask someone else to post my letter!
    

3. Some elephant jokes

• How many elephants can you fit into a mini*?
  I don't know. How many elephants can you fit into a mini?
  

• Four (two in the front and two in the back).
  In other words, two elephants in the front seats, and two more in the back seats. I know this is ridiculous - that's why it's a joke.
  *A mini is a small (miniature) car. This website should have lots of photographs.
  
  How do you know if there's an elephant hiding under your bed (or your futon)?
  I don't know. How do you know if there's an elephant hiding under your bed or your futon?
  
  When your nose touches the ceiling!
  
  When is there the greatest danger that an elephant might enter your fridge?
  I don't know. When is there the greatest danger that an elephant might enter your fridge?
  
  When the door is open!
  

  I don't see why there's a mention of 'danger'. Unhygienic, perhaps, but dangerous?.
  We're talking about a hungry elephant. (Why else would it even try to enter your fridge?)
  If it was a very hot day it might want to!!
  
  

  How do you know that there is an elephant in your fridge?
  

  I'm not sure that I would want to know. After all, what could I do? I don't think they sell elephant traps

  I don't know. How do you know that there is an elephant in your fridge?
  
  The fridge door will not shut!
• 
  How do you know that an elephant has been in your fridge?
  I don't know. How do you know that an elephant has been in your fridge?

  
  I can think of several ways: the fridge has stopped working; it's bent into an elephant shape; all the food that an elephant might like is gone...
  

  
  There are large footprints in the butter, and all the banana ice cream has disappeared.
  

• Why couldn't the two elephant friends go swimming?
• I don't know. Why couldn't the two elephant friends go swimming?
• • Because there was no jumbo swimming pool in their neighborhood?
• They only had one pair of trunks!*
• • *In English, the word 'trunk' has several meanings. An elephant's nose is called ' a trunk', but 'trunks' are what men wear when they go swimming. We say 'a pair of ' with 'trunks' just as we say 'a pair of trousers'.

4. Some jokes which look like elephant jokes, but are not elephant jokes

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?
An elephant of course!
No, this looks like an elephant joke but it isn't. The word 'trunk' has yet more meanings, and the answer is:

A mouse going on holiday.
(Which meaning of 'trunk' is being used here?


What's brown, has four legs and a trunk?
I don't know. What is brown, has four legs and a trunk?

A mouse coming back from holiday!