Ghostly Jokes

1. Why did the young vampires stay up so late?

• • I don't know. Why did the young vampires stay up so late?
  • Perhaps they were waiting for the mummies to tuck them up in their coffins.
  That's a good guess, but not the right answer. In fact, they were studying for their blood tests! (No, not that type of test; this type of test. They're still learning how to be vampires...)

• I don't know. How can you tell that vampires had an art class today?
  Perhaps there are red spatter paintings on all the walls.

3.How can you tell that the young vampires have been in the fast food restaurant?

• I don't know. How can you tell that the young vampires have been in the fast food restaurant?
  (But surely vampires avoid fast food restaurants because they smell of garlic.)

I will ignore that whisper. You can tell that young vampires have been in the fast food restaurant because there is no tomato ketchup left, just empty bottles and packets.

4.How can you tell that the young vampires have been in a bakery?

• I don't know. How can you tell that the young vampires have been in a bakery?
  (I'm glad that pumpkins are yellow.)

I'm glad that kappa are green, but that's beside the point. All the jam has been sucked out of the doughnuts.
5. Why are the young vampires never late for a meal?

• I don't know. Why are the young vampires never late for a meal?
  (I'm still very glad that pumpkins are yellow.)
  

I'm still glad that kappa are green, but that's nothing to do with this particular joke. The young vampires are never late for a meal because they don't want the soup to clot.
6.Why did the young vampires want red pens?

• I don't know. Why did the young vampires want red pens?
  (Give them all the red pens they want, if it will make them go away.)

You've got no need to be so nasty to such young vampires, especially since you are not red but yellow, as you are only too keen to point out... The answer is: because they want to draw blood.
7.Where do the young vampires go when they need to withdraw some of their savings?

• I don't know. Where do the young vampires go when they need to withdraw some of their savings?
  (I hope it's not where I go.)

They probably hope that their savings are in a different place from yours as well! Anyway, the answer is...to the blood bank!
8.What type of boat do the young vampires like best?

• I don't know. What type of boat do the young vampires like best?
  (For the first time ever, I'm glad that I get seasick.)
  

I thought you looked a little green. A vampire's favorite boat is a blood vessel! (Why are they called "vessels"? Click here...)

9.How do the teachers at the vampire school relax?

• I don't know. How do the teachers at the vampire school relax?
  (I hope it doesn't involve any drawing...)
  

Don't get all steamed up! In fact, they take a coffin break. (Instead of a coffee break...)

10.But how do the teachers at the vampire school relax if they don't have time to go to their coffins?

• I don't know. How do the teachers at the vampire school relax if they don't have time to go to their coffins?
  (Is this when they start drawing?)
  

You need to cool down! They drink de-coffin-ated coffee. (Not decaffeinated coffee, but coffee taken from a coffin.)