Opinion Paragraph Homework
Write an opinion paragraph with a topic sentence, three reasons (+ supporting
evidence), and a conclusion. There should be a total of at least 8 sentences
(TS + (SP + SS X 3) + CS).
Note the following:
1. You must observe the deadline for the first draft. This is Session #7.
On this day, you should bring your printed paragraph to class for a peer
review. You can also ask me questions if you wish to. (Those who wish to
improve their paragraph as a result of the peer review may do so. Check
the timetable for details.)
2. If possible, your paragraph should be about a news story. You should give your opinion of the story and three reasons for your opinion. Your topic sentence will be a sentence giving your opinion.
A: You could start with the topic sentence, and summarize the news story
in the second sentence.
Examples of the topic sentence as the first sentence:
B: Alternatively, you could start with a sentence summarizing the news
story and have the topic sentence second. For example:
There are some examples of news story paragraphs below. The first one includes
an outline.
C: If you cannot write a find a good news story for a paragraph, you should
write one beginning with one of the following topic sentences:
3. Whatever your choice, follow the steps given on p.3, EW. Make a copy of the checklist on p. 30 of the SS textbook and use the
first three sections when you review and revise (Step five). Refer to pp.
18-19 of the textbook for advice about formatting with Microsoft Word.
Attach your edited brainstorm and your checklist to the paragraph when
you submit it.
4. For advice about how to use an English-English dictionary when writing,
see pp. 7-8 of the Study Skills Handbook. Try to use vocabulary that you already know.
5. Here are some paragraphs that I have written about news stories.
A:
I chose an article about the reluctance of young Japanese women to remain in fulltime work
after marriage, and especially after having children. I was annoyed by
the way in which both governments and the media assume that this is a problem
caused by women and young children rather than by the fact that societies
tend to focus on work rather than on people. This was my original outline:
I.
[Main idea]Using modern technology to change the way in work is organized is
the best way to encourage women to remain in the fulltime workforce after
marriage. If modern technology is used:
II.
It should not be necessary for all employees to start work at the same time in
the morning or remain at work until late in the afternoon or evening.
III.
It should not be necessary for all employees to come to the office every day.
IV.
It should be possible to use these and other methods so that both parents can
share the responsibility of looking after the child.
I
tend to think as I write, and the main idea and supporting points of the actual
paragraph are not exactly the same as the ones in the outline. What has
changed?
On 10 March 2015 a
story on the BBC news website drew attention to the difficulties being faced by
the Japanese government in its attempt to persuade women to remain in the fulltime
workforce after marriage, and especially after childbirth. Like the Japanese
government, the writer of the article seems to view this as a problem related
to womenfs duties as housekeepers and child-carers, but it is also a problem of
the way in which work is organized. First, Japanese companies expect fulltime
employees to remain at the office until long after the school day is over. This
obviously causes difficulties for mothers with children who are too small to be
left alone after school. Second, fulltime employees are expected to come to the
office from Monday to Friday. However, children who have infectious diseases
have to stay at home, and there are parts of the year when schools are closed
anyway. Both these problems could be solved if employees were able to take
advantage of modern technology in order to work from home whenever necessary. Finally,
the government, companies, and the men who dominate both, are wrong to see this
as a problem affecting women alone. Most children have fathers as well as
mothers, and single parents are not always female. Children are an important resource
for society as a whole. Employers should be more flexible in their attitude to
working hours and office attendance, and male partners should be more willing
to accept responsibility for their children. If changes of this nature are made
to the way in which people are expected to work, it is likely that women will
become more willing to remain part of the fulltime workforce until retirement
whatever their family circumstances might be.
Reference:
Oi,
Mariko. (March 10, 2015). Japanese women at a crossroads. BBC website.
Retrieved April 27, 2015 from http://www.bbc.com/news/business-31792714.
B:
Outline
I This story seems to be superficial, but in fact it encourages the reader
to think deeply.
II. Reason one: Western coverage of whale and dolphin hunting suggests
that Japanese accept it or are not interested, but the article introduces
a Japanese person who opposes dolphin hunting.
III. Reason two: Although the Japanese person loves dolphins, she used
to help the hunters at Taiji.
IV: Reason three: The article shows how the responsibility for dolphin
hunting does not only lie with the Japanese, but with all countries with
dolphin in aquariums, and all people who go to see them performing their
tricks.
V: The photograph makes the news story look superficial, but in fact it
makes readers think about dolphin hunting itself and the way it is reported.
Paragraph:
(Look for the relationship between the outline and the paragraph.)
A Thought-Provoking News
Story
On 22 April 2010, the BBC website covered the story of a young Japanese dolphin trainer who has come to oppose the hunting of dolphins and therefore given up her job. Initially it appears to be just the story of a pretty girl in a swimming costume, but in fact it encourages the reader to think quite deeply. First, most
Western coverage of whale and dolphin hunting implies that the Japanese
either accept dolphin hunting as a cultural tradition or are not interested
in the issue. For example, this is the position of an article in the online edition of Time dated 16 September 2009. On the other hand, this particular article introduces a Japanese person
who actually opposes dolphin hunting. Second, the young woman used to work
in an aquarium in Taiji. This is the Japanese village that is featured
in the Oscar-winning documentary called gThe Coveh. She has always loved
dolphins; yet she helped the dolphin hunters by selecting which dolphins
should be kept for training purposes, knowing that the others would be
killed for meat. Finally, she mentions that non-Japanese come to Taiji
to buy dolphins. This reminds us that dolphin hunting is a problem not
only for Japanese people, but for all countries where dolphins are held
captive in aquariums, and for all people who go to see them performing
their tricks. In other words, although the photograph makes it look rather
superficial, this news story actually makes the reader think both about
dolphin hunting itself, and about the way in which it is reported.
References:
Dolphin hunt: gWe must open our eyesh. (April 22, 2010). BBC. Retrieved
May 3, 2010, from
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8599723.stm
Japan Gets to See Dolphin-Hunting Documentary gThe Coveh. (Sept. 16, 2009).
Time. Retrieved May 3, 2010, from http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1923252,00.html
C:
Look for the TS, SP, SS and CS in these paragraphs.
A Lesson about the Power of the Internet
(1)A story on the BBC news website with the title gBoston bombing: How internet detectives got it very wrongh shows the power of the internet, and social networking services in particular,
to draw people together. (2)However, it also shows how that power can cause problems. (3) The story, dated 19 April 2013, relates how gthousandsh of people investigated
all the evidence they could find related to the bombings, including photographs
and video clips, in order to find suspects. (4)The people involved in this search were able to use the internet to share their ideas, evidence, and even the names of suspects, by posting on a special Reddit site. (5) information spread via Facebook, Twitter, and other networks, and was
taken up by the mainstream media as well. (6)The speed and scale of the search, and the way in which details of those
picked as suspects spread, all show the way in which these networks unite
us. (8)This sort of group effort would not have been possible ten years ago. (7)Unfortunately, however, it seems that this massive group effort was worthless,
since none of the people identified as possible suspects were actually
involved in the bombing. (9)This is not surprising, perhaps, since most of the ginternet detectivesh
must have been amateurs, with no training in how to interpret evidence
or search for criminals. (10)If we could call an end to
the story at this point, there would be no cause for alarm. ?It would just mean that the amateur searchers had wasted their time, and
perhaps learnt a valuable lesson about the limits of their capabilities.
(11)But we must not forget the people who were identified as suspects, and
the families of those people. (12) Because the mistaken information spread so fast and was even picked up
by the mainstream media, the effect on them has been devastating. (13)According to the story, one of the people who was named gnow fears for
his lifeh, while another is a university student who has been missing since
the middle of March. (14)His worried family has an extra burden to bear. (15)In other words, while we
cannot deny the power of the social media as they continue to grow and develop,
we must also acknowledge that because of this power, we need to use them, and
respond to them, with greater caution.
References
Boston bombing: How internet detectives got it very wrong. (April 19, 2013).
BBC. Retrieved April 20, 2013, from http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-22214511
The Boston bombings and media coverage of undeveloped countries
(1)The gBoston bombingsh of 15 April were truly horrifying, and it is not
surprising that news of the bombings was covered by media throughout the
world. (2)People were shocked by the pictures, and moved by the personal stories
of the victims and their friends and families. (3)But there is a great contrast between the response to this event and the
low-key, more abstract, coverage of similar tragedies in undeveloped countries,
including attacks by U.S. planes and drones on civilians in Pakistan and
Afghanistan. (4)There are clear reasons for this imbalance. (5)One is that media companies choose stories that they think their audiences
will be interested in. (6)People are familiar with developed countries, particularly America. (7)They watch films or television shows about life in developed countries,
and visit them as tourists or for business and study. (8)Therefore, it is not surprising that they want to hear news about them.
(9)Another reason for the imbalance is that it is easy for media companies
to obtain news about events in developed countries, especially pictures
and video clips. (10)This is because these countries have many journalists and advanced methods
of communication. (11)On the other hand, it is much harder to obtain news about events in undeveloped
countries because there are fewer journalists, and methods of communication
are less likely to work with speed and efficiency. (12)A story that is not supported by detailed information and arresting pictures
or video clips is unlikely to gain media attention even if it involves
a terrible tragedy. (13)As a result, we have a vicious circle. (14)Since we hear a lot of news about developed countries, we are more and
more interested. (15)Their media therefore become more influential, and provide us with more
stories. (16)Meanwhile, the undeveloped world becomes less and less visible. (17)It is clear that we need to
find some way to redress this imbalance.
References:
BBC News: Boston bombs. (2013). BBC. Retrieved April 24, 2013, from http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-22166073
'At least three killed' in US drone attack in Pakistan. (March 22, 2013).
BBC. Retrieved April 24, 2013, from http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-21892997