Opinion Paragraph Homework


Write an opinion paragraph with a topic sentence, three reasons (+ supporting evidence), and a conclusion. There should be a total of at least 8 sentences (TS + (SP + SS X 3) + CS).
Note the following:

1. You must observe the deadline for the first draft. This is Session #7. On this day, you should bring your printed paragraph to class for a peer review. You can also ask me questions if you wish to. (Those who wish to improve their paragraph as a result of the peer review may do so. Check the timetable for details.)

2. If possible, your paragraph should be about a news story. You should give your opinion of the story and three reasons for your opinion. Your topic sentence will be a sentence giving your opinion.
A: You could start with the topic sentence, and summarize the news story in the second sentence.
Examples of the topic sentence as the first sentence:



B: Alternatively, you could start with a sentence summarizing the news story and have the topic sentence second. For example:


There are some examples of news story paragraphs below. The first one includes an outline.
C: If you cannot write a find a good news story for a paragraph, you should write one beginning with one of the following topic sentences:

3. Whatever your choice, follow the steps given on p.3, EW. Make a copy of the checklist on p. 30 of the SS textbook and use the first three sections when you review and revise (Step five). Refer to pp. 18-19 of the textbook for advice about formatting with Microsoft Word. Attach your edited brainstorm and your checklist to the paragraph when you submit it.

4. For advice about how to use an English-English dictionary when writing, see pp. 7-8 of the Study Skills Handbook. Try to use vocabulary that you already know.

5. Here are some paragraphs that I have written about news stories.

A:

I chose an article about the reluctance of young Japanese women to remain in fulltime work after marriage, and especially after having children. I was annoyed by the way in which both governments and the media assume that this is a problem caused by women and young children rather than by the fact that societies tend to focus on work rather than on people. This was my original outline:

 

I. [Main idea]Using modern technology to change the way in work is organized is the best way to encourage women to remain in the fulltime workforce after marriage. If modern technology is used:

II. It should not be necessary for all employees to start work at the same time in the morning or remain at work until late in the afternoon or evening.

III. It should not be necessary for all employees to come to the office every day.

IV. It should be possible to use these and other methods so that both parents can share the responsibility of looking after the child.

 

I tend to think as I write, and the main idea and supporting points of the actual paragraph are not exactly the same as the ones in the outline. What has changed?

 

On 10 March 2015 a story on the BBC news website drew attention to the difficulties being faced by the Japanese government in its attempt to persuade women to remain in the fulltime workforce after marriage, and especially after childbirth. Like the Japanese government, the writer of the article seems to view this as a problem related to women’s duties as housekeepers and child-carers, but it is also a problem of the way in which work is organized. First, Japanese companies expect fulltime employees to remain at the office until long after the school day is over. This obviously causes difficulties for mothers with children who are too small to be left alone after school. Second, fulltime employees are expected to come to the office from Monday to Friday. However, children who have infectious diseases have to stay at home, and there are parts of the year when schools are closed anyway. Both these problems could be solved if employees were able to take advantage of modern technology in order to work from home whenever necessary. Finally, the government, companies, and the men who dominate both, are wrong to see this as a problem affecting women alone. Most children have fathers as well as mothers, and single parents are not always female. Children are an important resource for society as a whole. Employers should be more flexible in their attitude to working hours and office attendance, and male partners should be more willing to accept responsibility for their children. If changes of this nature are made to the way in which people are expected to work, it is likely that women will become more willing to remain part of the fulltime workforce until retirement whatever their family circumstances might be.

 

Reference:

Oi, Mariko. (March 10, 2015). Japanese women at a crossroads. BBC website. Retrieved April 27, 2015 from http://www.bbc.com/news/business-31792714.



B:

Outline

I This story seems to be superficial, but in fact it encourages the reader to think deeply.

II. Reason one: Western coverage of whale and dolphin hunting suggests that Japanese accept it or are not interested, but the article introduces a Japanese person who opposes dolphin hunting.

III. Reason two: Although the Japanese person loves dolphins, she used to help the hunters at Taiji.

IV: Reason three: The article shows how the responsibility for dolphin hunting does not only lie with the Japanese, but with all countries with dolphin in aquariums, and all people who go to see them performing their tricks.

V: The photograph makes the news story look superficial, but in fact it makes readers think about dolphin hunting itself and the way it is reported.

Paragraph:
(Look for the relationship between the outline and the paragraph.)

A Thought-Provoking News Story

On 22 April 2010, the BBC website covered the story of a young Japanese dolphin trainer who has come to oppose the hunting of dolphins and therefore given up her job. Initially it appears to be just the story of a pretty girl in a swimming costume, but in fact it encourages the reader to think quite deeply. First, most Western coverage of whale and dolphin hunting implies that the Japanese either accept dolphin hunting as a cultural tradition or are not interested in the issue. For example, this is the position of an article in the online edition of Time dated 16 September 2009. On the other hand, this particular article introduces a Japanese person who actually opposes dolphin hunting. Second, the young woman used to work in an aquarium in Taiji. This is the Japanese village that is featured in the Oscar-winning documentary called “The Cove”. She has always loved dolphins; yet she helped the dolphin hunters by selecting which dolphins should be kept for training purposes, knowing that the others would be killed for meat. Finally, she mentions that non-Japanese come to Taiji to buy dolphins. This reminds us that dolphin hunting is a problem not only for Japanese people, but for all countries where dolphins are held captive in aquariums, and for all people who go to see them performing their tricks. In other words, although the photograph makes it look rather superficial, this news story actually makes the reader think both about dolphin hunting itself, and about the way in which it is reported.

References:
Dolphin hunt: “We must open our eyes”. (April 22, 2010). BBC. Retrieved May 3, 2010, from
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8599723.stm
Japan Gets to See Dolphin-Hunting Documentary “The Cove”. (Sept. 16, 2009). Time. Retrieved May 3, 2010, from http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1923252,00.html

C:

Look for the TS, SP, SS and CS in these paragraphs.

A Lesson about the Power of the Internet

(1)A story on the BBC news website with the title “Boston bombing: How internet detectives got it very wrong” shows the power of the internet, and social networking services in particular, to draw people together. (2)However, it also shows how that power can cause problems. (3) The story, dated 19 April 2013, relates how “thousands” of people investigated all the evidence they could find related to the bombings, including photographs and video clips, in order to find suspects. (4)The people involved in this search were able to use the internet to share their ideas, evidence, and even the names of suspects, by posting on a special Reddit site. (5) information spread via Facebook, Twitter, and other networks, and was taken up by the mainstream media as well. (6)The speed and scale of the search, and the way in which details of those picked as suspects spread, all show the way in which these networks unite us. (8)This sort of group effort would not have been possible ten years ago. (7)Unfortunately, however, it seems that this massive group effort was worthless, since none of the people identified as possible suspects were actually involved in the bombing. (9)This is not surprising, perhaps, since most of the “internet detectives” must have been amateurs, with no training in how to interpret evidence or search for criminals. (10)If we could call an end to the story at this point, there would be no cause for alarm. ?It would just mean that the amateur searchers had wasted their time, and perhaps learnt a valuable lesson about the limits of their capabilities. (11)But we must not forget the people who were identified as suspects, and the families of those people. (12) Because the mistaken information spread so fast and was even picked up by the mainstream media, the effect on them has been devastating. (13)According to the story, one of the people who was named “now fears for his life”, while another is a university student who has been missing since the middle of March. (14)His worried family has an extra burden to bear. (15)In other words, while we cannot deny the power of the social media as they continue to grow and develop, we must also acknowledge that because of this power, we need to use them, and respond to them, with greater caution.  

References
Boston bombing: How internet detectives got it very wrong. (April 19, 2013). BBC. Retrieved April 20, 2013, from http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-22214511

The Boston bombings and media coverage of undeveloped countries

(1)The “Boston bombings” of 15 April were truly horrifying, and it is not surprising that news of the bombings was covered by media throughout the world. (2)People were shocked by the pictures, and moved by the personal stories of the victims and their friends and families. (3)But there is a great contrast between the response to this event and the low-key, more abstract, coverage of similar tragedies in undeveloped countries, including attacks by U.S. planes and drones on civilians in Pakistan and Afghanistan. (4)There are clear reasons for this imbalance. (5)One is that media companies choose stories that they think their audiences will be interested in. (6)People are familiar with developed countries, particularly America. (7)They watch films or television shows about life in developed countries, and visit them as tourists or for business and study. (8)Therefore, it is not surprising that they want to hear news about them. (9)Another reason for the imbalance is that it is easy for media companies to obtain news about events in developed countries, especially pictures and video clips. (10)This is because these countries have many journalists and advanced methods of communication. (11)On the other hand, it is much harder to obtain news about events in undeveloped countries because there are fewer journalists, and methods of communication are less likely to work with speed and efficiency. (12)A story that is not supported by detailed information and arresting pictures or video clips is unlikely to gain media attention even if it involves a terrible tragedy. (13)As a result, we have a vicious circle. (14)Since we hear a lot of news about developed countries, we are more and more interested. (15)Their media therefore become more influential, and provide us with more stories. (16)Meanwhile, the undeveloped world becomes less and less visible. (17)It is clear that we need to find some way to redress this imbalance.

References:
BBC News: Boston bombs. (2013). BBC. Retrieved April 24, 2013, from http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-22166073
'At least three killed' in US drone attack in Pakistan. (March 22, 2013). BBC. Retrieved April 24, 2013, from http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-21892997