Knock, knock! Who's there? Jokes

The humour here comes largely from the fact that once you are familiar with the basic formula, it is possible to repeat it and get a different variation each time, depending on the name given. In many cases, the name is not a real name at all, and the last line is not related to the idea of asking to be let into a house or room either.

1.

Knock, knock Who's there?
Lettuce! Lettuce who?

Let us in!

2.

Knock, knock Who's there?
Ken and lettuce! Ken and lettuce who?

C'n you let us in, please?

3.

Knock, knock Who's there?
Luke! Luke who?

Look through the keyhole and you'll find out.

4.

Knock, knock Who's there?
Oliver! Oliver who?

Oi live across the road from you.

5.

Knock, knock Who's there?
Ewan! You an' who?

(If) You wanna know who's with me, open the door!

6.

Knock, knock Who's there?
Scott! Scott who?

(It)'s got nothing to do with you!

7.

Knock, knock Who's there?
Irish stew! Irish stew who?

I arrest you in the name of the law!

8.

Knock, knock Who's there?
Ivor! Ivor who?

I've a sore hand from all this knocking!

9.

Knock, knock Who's there?
Amos! Amos who?

A mosquito bit me while I was waiting for you to come to the door!

Knock, knock Who's there?
Andy! Andy who?

And 'e's just bitten me again, so please hurry up and let us in!

10.

Knock, knock Who's there?
Henrietta and Juliet! Henrietta and
Juliet who?

Henry ate a lot, and Julie atea little!

11.

Knock, knock Who's there?
Grandma! Grandma who?
Knock, knock Who's there?
Grandma! Grandma who?
Knock, knock Who's there?
Grandma! Grandma who?
Knock, knock Who's there?
Grandma! Grandma who?
Knock, knock Who's there?
Aunt! Aunt who?

Aren't you glad it's not Grandma?!

12.

Knock, knock Who's there?
Mary! Mary who?

Merry Christmas!

13.

Knock, knock Who's there?
Boo! Boo who?

Don't cry*; it's only a "knock, knock" joke!

*"Boo who" is the sound of crying in cartoons.

14.

Do you want to have a turn? Oh, yes please!
Knock, knock! Come in!