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Jokes |
The humour here comes largely from the fact that once you are familiar with the basic formula, it is possible to repeat it and get a different variation each time, depending on the name given. In many cases, the name is not a real name at all, and the last line is not related to the idea of asking to be let into a house or room either.
1.
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Lettuce! | Lettuce who? |
Let us in!
2.
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Ken and lettuce! | Ken and lettuce who? |
C'n you let us in, please?
3.
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Luke! | Luke who? |
Look through the keyhole and you'll find out.
4.
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Oliver! | Oliver who? |
Oi live across the road from you.
5.
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Ewan! | You an' who? |
(If) You wanna know who's with me, open the door!
6.
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Scott! | Scott who? |
(It)'s got nothing to do with you!
7.
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Irish stew! | Irish stew who? |
I arrest you in the name of the law!
8.
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Ivor! | Ivor who? |
I've a sore hand from all this knocking!
9.
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Amos! | Amos who? |
A mosquito bit me while I was waiting for you to come to the door!
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Andy! | Andy who? |
And 'e's just bitten me again, so please hurry up and let us in!
10.
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Henrietta and Juliet! | Henrietta and Juliet who? |
Henry ate a lot, and Julie atea little!
11.
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Grandma! | Grandma who? |
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Grandma! | Grandma who? |
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Grandma! | Grandma who? |
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Grandma! | Grandma who? |
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Aunt! | Aunt who? |
Aren't you glad it's not Grandma?!
12.
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Mary! | Mary who? |
Merry Christmas!
13.
Knock, knock | Who's there? |
Boo! | Boo who? |
Don't cry*; it's only a "knock, knock" joke!
*"Boo who" is the sound of crying in cartoons.
14.
Do you want to have a turn? | Oh, yes please! |
Knock, knock! | Come in! |